Grand Theft Gozu
by Litzel
Summary: Not a crackfic... A gozufic! Basically, Robberies. KYOKO X GOZU


It was late in the city that never slept, New York. The place was usually bright and exciting whenever people went out but some people lurked only at night. It was like an entire ecosystem filled with humans and humans only. There were multiple animals that did actually come out whenever, like racoons really but usually only humans were seen.

New York City was one like any other. There were banks, movie theaters and even an underground railway station. The thing that brought so many people to it was the action and it's business rate. The place was bubbling with stores all around it. This normally brought a lot of robbers and crime around the city itself. It was to a point where almost half of the people in the city were robbers. The Great Gozu, as he was called, was one too.

Most robbers in the city had their own ways to deal with robberies, Some just used guns and completely killed everyone and some did it quick. Gozu, However, Decided to use his own natural wrestling abilities. He was known for being the world's best wrestler. Had over two hundred and nineteen belts in his selection and nobody was showing any signs of stopping his spree soon.

It had been a few days since his last robbery. The last time he did it he robbed a strip club of all their strippers and ended up having them take care of his pet Gundham that he stole from Hajime. They worked as unpaid maids now in his smaller than average home.

Today Gozu wanted to change all that. The fear was something he couldn't help but feel, after all what if he was caught? What if he failed? He could be considered a rookie after all this time of doing nothing but sitting in his house watching OJ porn. Somehow there was just enough confidence for him to get out of the house.

He couldn't go alone though. Gozu went with his partner in crime Kyoko through most of his adventures. They were quickly becoming the most wanted pair in all of the world itself. Kyoko was more of the manager of the bunch, She's plan out the crime and Gozu would commit it.

First, he needed an escape vehicle. All he had was some really cute pink bike he stole from Calm_Down_Ibuki. His favorite part about it was the horn. Whenever you honked it a loud moan would erupt from Dankanronpa's mouth. Gozu would of been surprised but it was Ibuki who probably made it so that explained that easily.

So Gozu and Kyoko sat on the side of the street for a while until a car that looked cool to both of them passed by. Of course they missed some cool opportunities like the flying Peko sword and Izuru Kamukura being ridden on by Sin, She was riding it like some type of donkey. The sight was something that could only bring Gozu to say, "Oh My."

After almost an hour of waiting a person by the name of Byakuya Togami passed on a ninety mile long limo. He had stopped at the nearby gas station while his butler Hope Bagel was forced to actually put the gas inside of the thing. When the two saw their chance they ran over to the vehicle with the rich boy still inside.

"Sir, Could we please use your vehicle for a robbery?" Gozu asked the just now interested blonde.

"Uhh? Sure." Togami stepped out of the vehicle and allowed the partners to get in. With a smirk on Gozu's face he stepped on the "vroom vroom" button and began to drive. Luckily for him he immediately ran over Hope Bagel, probably killing him in the process.

The drive to the place they were robbing, McDoofus's was pretty easy. Sure they probably killed over 11,037 people on the way there but that wasn't a problem. They killed Hiyoko on the way there so the cops were perfectly fine with them continuing their ride.

Once they made it to their destination the two hopped out before having a bit of sexy time and casually walked in with their own swagilicious intentions. Just when they pushed everyone out of line to the cashier they began. They began the crime.

"Hey can you please put your hands up? We're robbing you." Gozu looked into the cashier's eyes with his dark mask being shined by the lights in the place.

Meanwhile everyone else was trying to run out of the place but the duo were undefeated as Kyoko blocked the door and everyone immediately gave up.

"No fuck you gozu." The cashier, Calm_Down_Ibuki had just gotten this job. Being homeless called in for a job. If she stayed homeless her reputation of awesomeness would be ruined by a new mask.

"Ok then." What Gozu said was the exact opposite of what he felt. He quickly hopped over the desk and knocked the girl onto the ground and then threw her against the wall and just as he was about to punch her two heroes jumped through the window.

It was Dankanronpa and his sidekick Pebis. They were known as the heroes of New York City. They had a reputation of heroes. Whenever someone was in danger they would come in and beat the hell out of anybody causing it. The best part was that they didn't have any real superpowers that could be considered useful. Dankanronpa was able to read his own mind and Pebis was able to communicate with fruits. It wasn't anything special.

"Stop Gozu! We're here to save the day!" The two said in unison with their awesome pose that just showed their authority.

The moment was short lived as soon enough Kyoko walked up to Dankanronpa and slapped him into the wall.

"Fuck lmao i tried doe." Those were Dankanronpa's last words as he slowly died with blood everywhere because gore.

Pebis tried to fight back and was able to do a number on Kyoko but that was also short lived as she slapped him into the same wall as before, causing their failure. (lol Kyoko slaps her pebis every night.)

And so Gozu robbed the place of all their burgers before hopping back in the Limo like nothing happened. Just as they thought they got away with yet another crime the car was soon exploded by some weird device. Both of the robbers were killed in the mess.

"Hmm...So THATS what this button does, Hehehehehe…" Poobis laughed somewhere.


End file.
